|
I'm in love with a Canadian
Dear
Counsellor:
I
have lived in Canada all my life; I'm your
average Canadian teenage girl. About a year
ago, I met a Jamaican online. We became
good friends, talked a lot about everything
and things were cool. Then, gradually, we
began to fall in love. He's four years older
than me. We just went with it and began
to write love letters back and forth, exchange
poetry, cards, and still manage to talk
about everything.
The
thing is, I constantly have to wonder if
this man, whom I love so dearly, is real.
I don't know what to do. He knows how I
feel and I've told him that I have to be
very careful about the information I disclose
about myself and so on. To date, our relationship
exists within the confines of the Internet
because of my doubts. I love him with all
my heart and think about him all the time.
We talk about spending the rest of our lives
together, getting married, travelling the
world as missionaries, raising a family
... things like that. I'm so confused though,
because of the deep feelings I have for
a man whom no one in Canada knows.
Should
I end it
What
should I do? I wonder if I should end it
(which I tried to do once but my feelings
got in the way and I gave in to his begging
me not to leave him). I know of the risks
involved with online dating but I want to
meet him. I love him with everything in
me; he is my future.
Please
tell me what you think.
Dear
Friend:
What
you are doing is very dangerous. There are
several negative things which have resulted
from this type of activity. I know that
positives have emerged also, but I would
not want to take the risk.
The
reality is that all you know about this
fellow is what he has said to you via the
Internet. What proof do you have that what
he has been saying is the truth? How do
you know that he is who he claims to be
and that he is Jamaican? Be careful my friend.
There are so many sick people out there
waiting to prey upon the young and vulnerable.
How can you say you are in love with him
when you have not even met him? You may
be in love with the idea of who he says
he is, but you may be totally disappointed
if and when you meet him.
His
motives or intentions
At
the same time, however, I am mindful of
the fact that so many persons have met their
soulmates via the Internet, and I know a
few. These individuals, however, have all
been adults who took the necessary steps
to protect themselves. You are a teen, but
how old is he? Can you be sure of how old
he is based on what he has said? If you
are serious about this guy, you should tell
someone about him so that he knows it is
no longer a secret and that others are aware.
How he reacts to this should say a lot about
his motives or intentions.
My
instinct is telling me to inform you to
forget about him, but another side is telling
me that others have benefited from like
experiences. I will, therefore, tell you
to place the relationship out in the open.
Make your family and friends aware of him,
and ask to speak with his family and friends
as well, then take it one step at a time.
Really
hope this helps.
Write
to Dear Counsellor Rev.Stephen-Claude Hyatt
at Youth Link, The Gleaner Company, 7 North
Street, Kingston; Fax: 922-6223; e-mail
lifestyle@gleanerjm
or dearcounsellor@hotmail.com
|
